FOUR LOVES

This is my first visit to my ancient, cob-webbed and algae-filled blog account since 23-January-2012. Maybe you want to ask me why I have a perfect memory of my last post. I tell you. My memory is far from perfect. I always plead with partial memory loss, temporary amnesia and sometimes just plain good old insanity. I'm blabbering. Opening my account is like a double bitch slap in the face. It hurts. It's like opening an old wound. There's a scab supposedly healing but not. Because that's what writing is for me. It's a panacea. It's my emotional cleansing. And it's been a long time since I made some 'wound' dressing. A few minutes ago, I received one of the biggest eye openers for me. I neglected my gift of writing. Yes, writing is a gift. But as cliches of cliches went, writers are not born. They are made. And in the span of nine months and nine days I made NOTHING.

Enough drama. There's only so much I can swallow. That's the reason why I'm so hooked with action TV series (the likes of Hawaii 5-0, Homeland, Arrow. I'm not plugging though I love the CBS network. Stop me. This is simple advertising and they are not even paying me a single dollar, dime, quarter nor cent.)

Let's go back to the issue at hand and the cut direct of the matter. Why the sudden urge to write? LOVE. The folly of many, the downfall of some, the hated of few and the belief of optimists.Ooops!(Both hands stretched in the front imitating some traffic enforcer in some busy streets of the metro. Gosh! I miss Philippines. That's another topic to be delved. The flight of ideas is currently not helping.) I AM NOT IN LOVE. As much as I want to say was, is and never will be in love, I don't want to jinx the future of my relationship status. 

Love is a double-edged sword. It may turn you to a nagging, over-possessive, irrational partner or a compassionate, understanding and forgiving friend/lover. But love is a very complex idea in its own and it may take different forms as discussed by C.S. Lewis in his book, Four Loves. He described these forms in Greek thought. There is familial or affectionate love (storge), friendship (philia), romantic love (eros) and spiritual love (agape). Lucky are you who can find these great four loves in one and same person. Thus the concept of SOULMATE.

On a lighter note, why would I have such an idea about nosebleed inducing thought? My penchance for DARK novels written by E.L. James and Sylvia Day had led me to Sylvain Reynard. I 'fell inlove' (I'm a silly little girl so I get to fall inlove with book heroes) with the characters of Christian Grey, Gideon Cross and eventually with Gabriel Emerson. Reynard mentioned the four loves in his book and I contemplated on it. Four loves equate THE soulmate. It will bring me utmost joy and an everlasting gratitude if someone, a generous soul for that matter, can give me that book as Christmas/Birthday present. It sucks when your birthday is just two days away from Christmas, right? People are spared of two gifts and you have the perpetual PMS during the yuletide season.

What is a Soulmate?  Wikipedia says it refers to a person whom we have deep feelings of affinity, friendship, sex or spirituality. Sounds like Four Loves right? Absolutely. Definitely.

Does soulmates exist? I am a believer so I guess they do. Does everyone meet the other half of their soul? Absolutely not. Why? Because we experience petty fights, misunderstandings and break ups. But the loaded question is what will you do if you meet your soulmate (or someone you deeply believe that is THE ONE)? Will you be a coward/pessimist and run like hell? Or will you be the idealist who will take the plunge? Or will you be a realist who will acknowledge this once-in-a-lifetime-lucky-you-if-it-will-happen-again meeting and consequences of possible actions?

But we are a little of those three. In our hearts, we are pessimists/optimists/realists. Our action/response in a situation will analyze what/whose idealism we follow. But I tell you, simply ACKNOWLEDGE.

RECOGNITION. Both your heart and mind will tell you if you meet the person whom you will consider the other/missing half of your soul. Your similarities are endless. You both read the same books, listen to the same genre of music, you have similar talents/capabilities, sometimes you are both in the same profession and same future plans. Too much similarities that you could both overcome and respect your differences.

Love, soulmate, fate, destiny and serendipity fall in the same category. The category of faith and of that powerful something beyond our grasp and understanding. You may or may not meet your soulmate in this lifetime, but if you do, please please please give him/her some due ACKNOWLEDGMENT. You may or may not be together but the One Poweful and All-knowing bestowed you the gift of finally meeting him/her. Most things in life are fleeting and always changing, so give your soulmate the courtesy and recognition he/she deserves.

P.S. I met mine two years back. Unlucky me, he's taken. Now, we are good friends sharing our favorite novels, movies/tv series and music. If you meet yours, be the idealist or realist but never a coward. Be brave!*wink!

                                     (photo credit: flyingsouls.com)

HEAR!

It’s 2012. It’s been ages since I wrote something (either nonsensical or something with value). Writing for me is like a panacea, purging out of emotions and thoughts. But mostly writing is like listening to my inner self. Not the clichéd child in me but the conscience part. Hello SUPERego! Yes, super in all caps because Freud’s analytic al concept of superego is very SUPER in me.

Let’s talk about listening. Wait, sounds ironic. But you know what I mean. Listening doesn’t involve about using one’s sense of hearing. It is also about paying attention, about focusing on other details that we consciously or subconsciously take for granted.

LISTENING TO OTHERS. This is very important. It is good that we absorb all the good words other people say about us. Praises and all. But we tend to be deaf enough when we hear things we don’t want to hear especially if it is about something that we ourselves don’t want to accept. Sounds like denial, right? It takes conscious effort to listen to what others would say about us, what we do, about our decisions because these people are our mirror images. They are life’s instruments. They serve as reflections of our actions when we are blinded. Always remember about what your parents, friends, loved ones even mere acquaintances have to say about you. There’s always a grain of truth to every word they say.

LISTENING TO ONE’S SELF. This one is crucial. It’s a make or break. Our inner voice is a built-in mechanism. It’s a super cop who monitors our every word, thought and deed. After all, who knows you best is only yourself. What you share to others is only a facet of your personality, usually within the boundaries of your comfort zone. So pause for a while and listen. It helps when you are in a dilemma or about to make a major decision. 

At the end of the day, yourself is your very best friend.