S.A.D.

Separation anxiety disorder is a psychological condition in which an individual experiences excessive anxiety regarding separation from home or from people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment (like a father, mother, grandparents, and brothers or sisters). Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD), is characterized by significant and recurrent amounts of worry upon (or anticipation of) separation from a child or adolescent's home or from those to whom the child or adolescent is attached. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Separation_anxiety_disorder)

I'm no longer a child but still I experience such. But sometimes you have to let others go (a best friend, a loved one). So here i remain but life goes on.

AERO, THE RAINY DAYS AND SOME LONESOME DAYS

Aero had been busy doing everything and doing nothing. As much as she hates the sun’s UV rays, she hates the rainy days, too. Aero can’t stand too much sunlight because it severely damages her very brittle feathers. And she hates the rain for the obvious reason, she can’t fly. And before this weather discussion takes too much of Aero’s time as well as yours, Aero will spill out her guts and drag you down with her not-so-good (polite way of saying THE WORST. Too much capital, I know. But that’s the sum of it) mood.

After all, misery loves company right? 

But ironically, Aero can’t hear the resounding YES of the Weblog Woods and even the surrounding forest. She’s currently at a point where even in the midst of a thickly populated and a large expanse of a forest, she feels alone. After all, (take note that’s twice already in a span of hundred words. I tell you brain freeze is never good. Especially if you don’t have a sizable amount of brain in the first place.) being lonely all by your lonesome self is such an over kill. Chirp!

As the rain keeps beating  against the thick canopy of trees and Aero’s good enough nest, she’s left with nothing else to do but to “talk” with herself. And she derived some points or the proverbial thoughts to ponder. So you can comment, put some side notes, foot notes or any kind of note later!

1.       No amount of brain freezing or brain withering can strangle a sarcastic mind. Ain’t that obvious huh?! Personality cannot be bought. It is individually developed. It takes TIME. You can’t change overnight. So if you want to change some old dirty habits like nail biting, whirlwind living or a tsunami/super typhoon/hurricane-had-just-passed kind of room you’re living in, it will take some DISCIPLINE. Hey, it’s possible to change. So you can start now.

2.       You are where you want to be. Aero has been living in the Weblog Woods all her life. She may fly but she always finds her way home. Ain’t  that bad right? But sometimes, you need to test the waters(or the land or the sky). You need to test how far you can go. And you will not achieve your destination if you will not go out of your comfort zone. Who doesn’t want comfort??? All of us do. But we need to grow. There’s so much the world can offer. But it will take you a gallon of courage, a glassful of strength, a tumbler of faith, a cup of sacrifice, a tablespoon of perseverance and a pinch of friends who will always boost your spirits when you feel like giving up. Ain’t that much right? Haha. Just take the first step. Be courageous. Be BRAVE! (Take note again. AIN’T overuse and misuse. LOL)

3.       The health of the mind/ psyche is as important as the body. We always replenish our body every few hours with a snack or two in between meals. But sometimes we forget to feed the hunger of our soul. Maybe it be as simple as to write a silly note, to sing loudly and so out of tune, to guffaw (Aero is kind of abusing this word. It simply means to laugh loudly.) or as complex as to love unconditionally or to care endlessly. Feed the hunger of your soul and somehow there will be no room for emptiness (real or imagined).

Aero guessed that three points to ponder is enough. Especially for a bird-sized brain, it’s too taxing! And sometimes you need not to understand it all. You need to act on it. ACTION! (Jackie Chan/Lucy Liu pose)

The bleak weather is over. The symbolical rainbow after the rain is out and Aero can hear the barking of Kei the Shitzu and Bo the Bear. They have plans to go to the beach, eat some baked clam (bon appetite but good luck to Aero’s digestion) and some latte (but Aero is very partial to white caramel macchiato) later. Good company isn’t always about misery, right? Chirp!

what happened to goodbye?

I always have variety. Variety speaks in my choices about music and books. Country and heavy rock songs.  Philosophical and romance books. But I have to be honest with you. I have a “bookshelf” of “trash” reads. (electronic books of modern/contemporary romances.)

I made a covenant between myself and my fast cascading addiction to trash reads that I will read classics by age twenty five. I still have a few years on me. You know I’m still twenteen plus! LOL. I already hid my old “bookshelf” since I’ve been rereading the same books and I tell you that it really is not good. 

I searched for new books to add in my new bookshelf. I downloaded some real heavy stuff (maybe heavy for me but not for you, *wink!). I happen to cross upon a name of a new author Sarah Dessen. Her name appeared in the top something authors of TEEN books. (I know. There’s no teen in my age though how hard I try to put it.) 

Before I sink deeper in Austen, Tolstoy, Twain and other famous writers of the old times, I must make use the remaining years before I beat the 25year-old deadline (Notice that I haven’t mentioned Sir William Shakespeare. Because I feel that reading/dissecting/digesting his works will be in another decade of my life! I was born and raised in times of modern fairy tales, spunky heroines and utterly complex heroes, stories of grandeurs, as well as outlandish creatures. Vampires, were-animals, and feys. So reading a classic is really HARD. Haha.)

And here I am reading a teen book, What Happened To Goodbye? I know it sounds heavy. But basically it’s a highly relatable story of every teen and teenage by heart (that’s me. And maybe you too!)

Synopsis: Girl’s parents divorced. Mom has a new family. Girl’s with her dad. They move around a lot. I really mean a lot. (stated four times in the book because of the father’s occupation. Perky job! Some restaurant wrangler/ overhauler. I hope you got what I mean.) Girl develops different personality types to cope with every new surroundings. And at the end, she faced her problems and went full circle.

Lesson: Everyone has to cope. New situation, old problems, persistent worries. Everyone tries to deal with whatever at hand. May it be a good coping mechanism or a bad one (let’s say not the appropriate one for the situation but not entirely bad), every person feels to do something he/she needs to do. Man is highly adaptive. But adaptation doesn’t necessarily mean productive or a destructive one.

Sometimes answers could be complex but all you need is to be true with yourself.

And when reading a book, there are some lines meant to touch your soul. Sometimes in a light manner but often times as direct assault. And here are some of those inspiring lines for me:

Your past is always your past. Even if you forget it, it remembers you.

But things change. And sometimes, people do as well, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Home wasn’t a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.

Off to watch maybe an episode or two of TVD (The Vampire Diaries). It’s good to read a book with a heartfelt message but the crumbs/left-over emotion is not good for my sanity! Tah-tah!

22.03/08.01.11

TVD

I know. I got obsessed with a TV series. My bad. But honestly, watching it religiously every week since 2009 has given me a sense of purpose. Not to mention anticipation. I just finished watching TVD (for some whose not fanatics and obviously not familiar with the acronym, it’s THE Vampire Diaries! I need not explain about the THE thing.)

So here I am. After posting at my FB wall about it, it was still not enough to unleash whatever  emotion I had since watching the THE series in a marathon for four days (I had breaks you know. I still need to sleep and eat!Haha)

This is a tribute. As my favorite string quartet had tribute albums for Jimi Hendrix, Red Hot, Coldplay, Incubus, The Fray and many others, I myself need to make a tribute for the creators of this series. (if you’re not familiar with the Vitamin String Quartet, they make violin instrumentals about all those rock songs and even pop ones. Yes! My ringtone: Breakeven by the Script as performed by the String Quartet.)

I need to be a honest. I’m a great fan of vampire books. I read a LOT of vamp novels. I really mean a lot. I mentioned them in a blog of mine. I need not repeat it here again because it will be such a BORE. If you know what I mean. But I haven’t finished reading all of L.J. Smith’s books. FYI again, TVD is an adapted series from Ms. Smith’s novels.

I read a few pages of the first book but I can’t continue doing so because A.) There are a lot of differences from the book compared to the series. I don’t blame the script writers. They mean to make the series very catchy for the audience. B.) I can’t imagine Ian Sommerhalder in the book. I’d  rather see him in the flesh, albeit in my tv screen. C.) Both. 

I’m a smolderhalder fanatic. So I might tend to be a LITTLE biased here. My favorite D as in Damon scenes are A.) When he confessed his love Elena (season1, in Elena’s room before he returned the necklace with vervain. After the said confession, he erased her memories about it. Tskk. Sad.) B.) when D finally got in touch with his humanity ( when he comforted Rose, the vamp bitten by the werewolf but whom he drove a stake to the heart. Tskk. Sadder.) C.) when he confessed his love for Elena again! (when D was the one with a werewolf bite and Elena was comforting her in his ‘deathbed.’ Tskk. Saddest.)

I need not be sad. D was cured but Stefan was back to his cursed blood-oholic  with the evil Klaus. There are more to come. Watching the 44 episodes made me realized that I haven’t missed much because I was religiously watching it every single week since 2009 in tv, mind you. Im greatful for the US match airing and all those reruns. I was ‘compelled’ to do the marathon for me to appreciate the season2 finale. It was a trending topic in Twitter last May but I haven’t watched it. I was enjoying myself that time. And finally I had the opportunity to watch it now though two months late.

There are a few lessons.

Love is a sacrifice. There was a whole lot of sacrifices made in this series. For love, friendship, and family. When I was in second year high school, a teacher asked about what is love. All of us gave silly answers. We described it as if it could be quantified. But a classmate answered, SACRIFICE. Over the years, I learned the meaning of it.

Love is not always reciprocated. True. Blessed are those who love and are loved in return. For those who are not so blessed, I guess, it’s better to have loved and lost than not loved at all. It takes a lot of courage to love again after being hurt. To trust again after being devastated.

P.S.

Why I love Damon/Ian Sommerhalder’s character? (as well as millions of ladies out there)

He’s uber hot. He has gorgeous eyes (grey with flecks of blue).  I loved his cynicism, jadedness and devil-may-care attitude. A great mind, a gorgeous body and a bad ass attitude equals total smokin’ hot package. But mostly, I liked him because he loves unconditionally. He loves unselfishly. And he knew firsthand the meaning of love as sacrifice.

Tah-tah! I could finally have a decent sleep. Don’t bite me! Xxxx!

22:16/08.05.2011

Reflections

[all directed to one’s self. Not you. But for me. If applicable to you, then good. If not, just let me be. In Tagalog, walang basagan ng trip!]

Listen to your heart. You won’t always hear what you want but you will surely hear what you need.

Never be afraid of silence. You said before that when silence speaks you can’t have your peace. Now, when there’s silence, He speaks. It’s up to you if you’ll listen.

Don’t give things too much meaning. Sometimes the best approach is to take things at face value.

View the world with clarity/reality. Not with rose-colored glasses or with shattered glasses.

You know what’s best for you. You just have to act on it.

Some people die due to self-pity. Beware!

Who cares if you’re jaded or a cynic?! At least you’re not stoned. (not funny, I know)

Now you know what the difference between brooding and sulking is.

Don’t abuse/misuse words. If they are breathing, they’ll beat the hell out of you.

No man is an island. That’s why sometimes you need to take a cruise away from your Isle of Paranoia.

Some people have serious trust issues. I mean, SERIOUS. You are one of them.

Stop your introspections. It gives me the CREEPS.

DELAYED

I’m not talking about delayed menstrual period.LOL. I’m having cramps actually. (Do I really need to say that? Whatever. They say write from the heart. I did. Though nonsensical.)

I’m gonna talk about time.

I’m such a slow paced person. I don’t mean that I do things slowly. I do things in my own time efficiently! LOL

Tomorrow is another day.

And the world gives me endless tomorrows.

Mañana lady. Sue me.

Too vague. I’ll give you a clearer picture.

When everyone, I mean everyone in the world, is busy enjoying all the networking sites, I don’t care. Haha. If my memory serves me right, which I doubt, according to Social Network, Facebook was created in 2002. I made my account last 2009. Twitter was around 2005 or 2006. I made my account just a few months ago. Microsoft Office’s latest available software is 2007. I was still using the 2003 days back. Everyone was soo crazy about Harry Potter since 2000. I really am not a fan. Forgive me for the wrong info. I just watched movies 1-5 a week ago (6^th movie copy not yet on hand. Just the movie. No plans to read. LOL)

Now you have an idea of ‘slow pace’ for me. I do things in my own time. Eventhough my timeline is tooooo  late compared to others, I don’t give a single care.

Mañana attitude + oppositional defiant character = still-stuck-in-the-middle-of-nowhere ME.

Days from now, I’m going to do something I should have done two years ago. And this is something I can’t avoid. And this is CHANGE. I guess the old adage, the only unchangeable thing on earth is change, is absolutely correct!

Change is part of living. Change is parth of growth. Physically and emotionally wise. Though how hard I try to delay these changes, they will eventually happen. Maybe not today but THE tomorrow will come. I realized that I don’t have all the tomorrows of the world because some of them already belonged to my past and currently my present.

Going out of one’s comfort zone is really scary. Being a ‘comfort’ person, it totally freaks me out. But this is what I’ve been praying for. And now I’m given the chance. With this chance, change follows. OMG! This is my cowardly talk! Eff! It’s hell to know it’s but beyond hellish to accept it.

The voice of my high school teacher became clearer. And she said, “The world is for the assertive and the brave.” Agree.

I have things to do. Bags to pack. Tsk. Tomorrow! Ow! Must change. New motto.

Time is of the essence.

Or maybe a classic example of verbigeration (repetitive, a psychological behavior) is all I need.

Now is the time. Now is the time. Now is the time.

                                          (photo credit by connect.in.com)